Committed to sinning

I attended a conference this week, and I picked up some freebies from the vendors' booths. I put three of them on my desk to remind me of my spiritual condition. The first toy is the smallest. It is a figure made up of a little yellow ball, just a bit bigger than a golf ball. He has a face, with round eyes and a round open mouth, giving him an expression of surprise or confusion. He stands on two stubby little feet that stick out below to keep him from rolling all over the place. And on top there are two stubby little hands, both stuck in a "thumbs up" position. It is as if he likes everything--he gives a thumbs up to what is on the right AND what is on the left. Either that, or, he is standing in the middle of the road hitchhiking, not caring which direction he goes. Whoever stops and picks him up first will determine his destination. Do you ever feel like that?

The second toy I picked up and put on my desk is a plastic figure of a wolf.  He has beady eyes and sharp teeth.  His gray wolf head is perched atop an anthropomorphized wolf body, standing on human hind feet, and his forelegs are very muscular, like a human bodybuilder.  He stands about four inches tall, and balances on the two hind feet and his fluffy wolf tail.  He symbolizes Evil to me.  When I look at him I think of the scripture found in John 10:10, where Jesus describes himself as the Good Shepherd, guarding against the evil one: "The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy; I have come that they might have life, and have it to the full."  Who is "they"? The sheep, of course.  But that is not all that a wolf, or his canine cousins, will steal.  Remember the 1988 movie A Cry In The Dark where Meryl Streep plays an Australian woman Lindy Chamberlain who went on trial for the disappearance of her daughter.  This story was made all the more memorable in a 1991 episode of Seinfeld, where Elaine mocks an insufferable party guest with the line, "Maybe a dingo ate your baby."  But I digress.  This wolf looks mean and tough.  He would snatch a sheep from its fold if there were no Shepherd to protect it.  The wolf would steal your joy if you let him.  The wolf stands to the left of my little yellow friend.  The wolf stands ready to snatch up the little yellow ball, much as a dog would do while playing fetch.  With this monster wolf figurine standing over him, it is no wonder the ball has a dazed and confused look on his face.

The third toy I found at the conference is a six inch plush lion doll.  He has soft, golden fur and a fuzzy mane that makes his head look twice as big.  He represents Jesus, the Lion of Judah, or Aslan, if you prefer a reference to C.S. Lewis.  I imagine this figure lying in front of the sheep pen, daring any wolf to come up and try to steal a tiny lamb from the fold.  He stands to the right of the little yellow fellow, ready to defend if needed.  But unlike the wolf figurine, the expression on his face is warm and friendly.  He looks like he would be genuinely hurt if the little guy chose to go play with the wolf instead of staying near.

With all that in mind, let me tell you about the sermon I heard in church last Sunday.  The preacher talked about being a slave to sin.  His text was from John 8.

To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples.  Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free."  They answered him, "We are Abraham's descendants, and we have never been slaves of anyone.  How can you say that we shall be set free?"  Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin.  Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever.  So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." --John 8: 31-37

See, most of us do not just commit sins.  Instead, we are committed to sinning.  Let me tell you what I mean. Most of us know beforehand what we are going to do, and how we are going to cover it up.  "Don't tell your mother," is a line many Dads use when they put their kids in compromising situations.  (Moms use the line, "Don't tell your dad", too, but not quite as often, I suspect.)  As soon as we do what we want, we start thinking about how to lie, confuse, mislead, obfuscate the truth, or just change the subject if asked about it.  I heard a guy in a Celebrate Recovery meeting say that he used to visit inappropriate websites.  But to hide the fact from his wife, who could check the browser history on his computer, he would go to Rent-A-Center, rent a laptop, call up the adult sites, then turn the laptop back in before his wife came home.  He went to all that trouble just to make sure she didn't know what he was doing at home alone.  This is what Jesus meant when he said we were slaves to sin.

Jesus goes on to explain the basic difference between a slave and a son.  The distinction is important, because we who have joined God's family have become sons, heirs of God and joint-heirs with Christ Jesus. Does this mean that as Christians we do not sin?  By no means!  Let's look at the Scripture reference again. Who is Jesus talking to? "To the Jews who had believed him."  These were believers in Jesus.  Were they sinners? Of course they were.  But Jesus was teaching them that they were no longer slaves to sin.  What happens to slaves who disobey?  They get punished.  They get separated from their Master and their family and friends, either by being imprisoned or by being sold to another.  That is what he means when he says "A slave has no permanent place in the family."  But to those who belong to God, they have a privileged position.  They do hold a permanent place in the family.  Instead of punishment, they receive forgiveness.  Instead of banishment or imprisonment, they are promised a place at the King's table, and a room in the King's palace.

It is pretty hilarious what the Jewish believers were telling Jesus during this lesson.  "We are children of Abraham, and we have never been slave to anyone."  Has anyone read the Old Testament?  At one time or another, the sons of Abraham had been slaves to just about everyone.  Assyrians, Babylonians, Chaldeans, Egyptians, Persians--the list is endless.  How could they say that they had never been slaves to anyone, when at the very time they were speaking with Jesus, they were subjugated by the Romans?  And yet we today are in the same state of denial.  We look at headlines in the news, and hear of murderers and adulterers and think, "I am not that bad." But what did Jesus say? If you look at a woman with lust in your heart, you have committed adultery in your mind.  If you hate your brother, you are as guilty as the murderer in prison.

So what are we to do with our sin?  Hebrews 12:1 says, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."  Avoid it, shun it, and throw it off.  Don't leave the door open to sin, because your enemy, the devil, "comes to steal, kill and destroy."  Would you leave your home unlocked, with the door cracked open, so that a thief could walk in and take away your possessions? No!  So why would you plot in your mind how you will do this or that, but later you will act like nothing ever happened?  "Be sure your sins will find you out." (Numbers 32:23)  Do not let sin steal your joy.  Ask for and claim the forgiveness of God, but also shut the door to sin so that it doesn't happen again.

I was in an insurance seminar once, and the instructor told of a Christian Pastor who took to heart the scripture that says to take in strangers.  He would open his home to homeless people, to those recently released from prison, and to just about anybody.  Most of the time, when the house-guests left, they would take something of value with them.  He lost so many of his possessions, and made so many claims against his home-owners policy, that the insurance company dropped him.  He could not get anyone to sell him home-owners coverage because of his insistence on opening his home to felons and drug users.  And yet how often do we put our spiritual life into the same peril by opening the door to old habits and attitudes, and then wondering why God would allow us to lose our sense of safety and security?

Going back to my little yellow ball-shaped buddy on my desk, the one with the confused look on his face and both thumbs up.  It reminds me of the Native American proverb about an elder who tells his grandson that there are two wolves that are fighting inside of him.  One wolf is angry and mean, while the other is gentle and loving.  The grandson looks up and asks, "Grandfather, which one is winning?"  The wise elder answers, "Whichever I feed the most."  This story tells a lot about human nature, how we have a dual nature of sin and sonship.  I think it is derived from the oriental idea of Yin and Yang, the equal amount of black and white, of good and evil inside us.  Jesus, I think, did not teach that.  I believe he taught us to banish evil from our lives, to place it outside the camp, and to live in the light of God and in His presence.  There should always be more light in our lives than darkness.

Earlier I quoted from John chapter 8, where Jesus admonishes us not to be slaves to sin, but rather to act like sons.  Earlier in the chapter, John tells the story of the woman caught in adultery.  The pharisees threw this woman, probably naked, into the public square and dared Jesus to take a stand.  The Law said she should be stoned to death.  Jesus said, "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone."  One by one the accusers left.  Finally, the woman alone stood before Him.  He did not accuse her, but rather told her to "go, and sin no more."  Do you ever wonder what happened to that woman after her encounter with Jesus? Was she the paragon of sinless perfection? Probably not.  She probably didn't ever become a leader in the church.  She probably stopped prostituting herself, stopped the affair she was having with the Pharisee. However,  she likely committed some sins as she went on with her life.  But rather than allowing the sin to define her, she could now ask forgiveness.  She could enjoy restoration into the full fellowship of God the Father through Jesus Christ the Son.

And so can we.

Get off the struggle-bus

My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. --1 John 2:1

Former First Lady Nancy Reagan took a lot of flak for her slogan, "Just Say No".  The cause she had taken up was the use of illegal drugs, especially among young people.  Obviously, her heart was in the right place.  But those who saw addiction first hand criticized her unmercifully, because clearly the problem of drug addiction was bigger than a simple slogan.  Even in the area of prevention, which the slogan was meant to address, the slogan was inadequate, because the pressures among inner-city youth were greater than a white woman in the White House could possibly know.

And yet, in all its simplicity, there was a kernel of truth in those three words.  When confronted with illegal drugs, whether from a friend or from a local drug-pusher, the individual had a choice to make:  either I will use, or I won't.  This choice would define millions, and would divide a whole generation into two camps--users, and non-users.  Some of the users would become addicts, and some would kick the habit when they got older.  But none of the non-users would become addicted.  Not one.  This didn't make them cool, or popular, or better than their peers.  It didn't necessarily make them more successful, because it was merely one in a hundred-thousand choices they would make over a lifetime.

In the Christian world, many of us get caught up in the verse at the top of this post.  It is simple, and direct: do not sin.  John encouraged his followers, and by extension all of us, to make good choices; to decide to do right; to be like Christ.  And when we fail in that endeavor, when we do sin, many times we beat ourselves up.  We get caught in a destructive cycle (common in addiction--face it, we are all "sin addicts") including powerlessness, shame and guilt, distrust, and reenacting sinful patterns in new situations.

Here is a very personal example.  Last month I faced the consequences of a bad financial decision, one that ultimately cost my entire savings to make right.  When I was right in the middle of it, my son asked me a direct question.  "Dad, how do you see yourself?"  Since I was mired in guilt, and despondent about my situation at the time, I answered him with some pretty depressing descriptors: I am a sinner.  I am a dead-beat.  I'll never have any wealth to pass on to my children because I continuously make poor financial decisions.  And my sinful choices affect other areas of my life, not just my house-hold finances--my morals, my character, my identity.  Like the story of the Prodigal Son, I was mired in the pig-pen, ready to feed on the husks that the pigs eat.

For those of you who follow my posts regularly, you have probably noticed that I have not written anything in the last three weeks or so.  I was so caught up in powerlessness, shame, guilt and distrust that I felt useless.  I had a doctor's appointment, and because of my family history, I needed a biopsy.  I can't tell you what a literal pain in the butt that was, but afterward I couldn't help wonder what would happen if I had cancer.  Would I be able to work? Would I be a burden to my family? Would they be better off without me? And after I received the results, when the doctor said it was benign and I was all good, my first response was selfishness.  "Why the heck did I have to go through that procedure if there was nothing to be worried about?"  The next thought I had was more humble, but still I was stuck in despair and despondency.  "Why were my tests all benign, when my brother-in-law (and others I know) is battling cancer?  Why was I spared and he was not?"

God had to hit me with a Clue-By-Four

This morning I got out of bed with a purpose.  I had noticed some things around the house that needed attention, but for the last three weeks I had put off.  Dust bunnies on the ceiling fans.  A leak in the dishwasher.  Today, I told myself, I would not complain about those things.  I would do something about it.  So I rolled up my sleeves and went to work.  After I was done, there was nothing left (that I could see) to complain about.  The house was clean, the dishes were washed, and there was no water in the floor to be tracked through.

I realized there was a corollary with my spiritual life.  I had not read my Bible in three weeks.  I had not spent any time in prayer.  I was beating myself up for an what I saw as a foundational flaw in my spiritual make-up, but it was not my Savior who was accusing me.  It was myself who had taken up the chant of the Accuser, the Father of Lies, the Prince of Darkness.  Satan had successfully driven a wedge between me and the Everlasting Source of Light and Life.  It was clearly time to draw back the curtains and air out some things.  Time to do something about it, rather than curl up in darkness and fear and complain that I am such a bad person.  Time to ask for forgiveness rather than assume God hates me.

You see, we forget that there is more to the verse that began this message.  John didn't say, "My children, do not sin."  He went on to say this:

But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense--Jesus Christ the Righteous One.  He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world. --John 2:1b-2

I would go so far as to amend verse two, to paraphrase it this way: He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for the sins we have already committed in the past, but for the sins we will commit today and tomorrow and forever.

The story of the First Adam and the Fall is telling.  Genesis 2:8-9 says, "Now the Lord God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed.  And the Lord God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground--trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food.  In the middle of the garden were the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil."  You know the story.  Eve was persuaded by the Serpent to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and she gave it to Adam to eat, as well.  The first couple had a choice to make: either to live forever (by eating from the Tree of Life), or to get a conscience (by eating from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.)  They made their choice, and the consequences were that fellowship with God was disrupted.  In order to know Evil, we had to experience it, along with the guilt, shame and despair it brings.

All of us know good, and all of us know evil.  Sometimes we choose good over evil, and sometimes we don't.  When we don't, our conscience accuses us, because we know good from evil.  And when the Second Adam came, in the form of Jesus Christ, he again offers us Abundant Life.  If we partake in His body and blood, we can restore the fellowship that was lost.  But we still have the conscience that was born in Eden.  Our conscience accuses us when evil encroaches.  Our only hope is to plead the Blood of Jesus, which covers our sin.  That is why we maintain a fellowship with Him.  When the fellowship is broken, we fall into Stinkin' Thinkin'.