A Life Well Planned

My daughter was in a wedding recently.  No, she was not the bride.  She was the maid of honor. What a ton of work she had to do!  By the time it was all over, well, let's just say she was very happy for the newlywed couple.  Verrrry happy.

I started thinking about weddings, church weddings in particular.  If we followed that same blueprint throughout our marriage, there would be no more divorce.  Let me show you what I mean.

The Planning
Every detail is planned out in advance, from the guest list to the decorations to the vows to the reception.  Every moment is special, because it was thought out in advance.  Sometimes well in advance.

Now if we planned out our marriage the way we planned the wedding, there would be fewer mistakes.  I know that unexpected things happen in life.  But if you are following a plan, you'll know better how to handle life's little surprises.

I don't mean you have to plan where you'll live, what you'll drive, or what career you will have for the rest of your life.  Those things are subject to change.  I know young women who just knew they'd marry a businessman (or a blue collar worker, or a cowboy), and they'd work to save up a down payment on a house, and they'd get pregnant by the time she was 24, and they'd have two (or three) kids, who would go to the best schools....  On and on it goes.  When unexpected things happen, like sickness, or debt, or infertility, or job loss--when these things happen, we are often devastated.

How, then, can we plan ahead in life?  What plans can we make with any certainty that, whatever else happens, this will come about?  Again, let's use the wedding as an example.

The Church
When my wife and I were engaged, a lot things depended upon which church we chose.  We wanted to be married in the church where we met, where many of our friends were.  But there were some dates, for instance, that were not available.  In fact, if we wanted a summer wedding, there were exactly two dates available at that church.  People still ask us what was the significance of August 19--why did we choose to be married on that date?  We tell them it was either then or August 26; anything other than those dates, and we would have had to choose a different church.

I have discovered that a lot of things depend on which church you choose to attend.  Are you being fed?  Are you engaged in the worship experience?  Do you have friends there?  Is your being there a special event?  I don't mean you go once a year on special occasions, like Easter or Christmas.  I mean that every time you go, as often as you attend, do you put in as much preparation as you did the day you were married?

Think back to your wedding day.  Or if you are still single, think of the last wedding you attended. There were probably flowers, maybe some candles.  There was music that you enjoyed, that you remember still.  Who put all those decorations there?  It wasn't the church staff.  It was probably you, or your family and close friends.  The same thing goes on today.  We go to church expecting the pastor or staff to do all the work, but we contribute nothing.  More often than not, with that attitude, we leave the church as empty as we were when we came in.

Hebrews 10:25 says, "We should not stop gathering together with other believers, as some of you are doing. Instead, we must continue to encourage each other even more as you see the Day drawing near."

The Preacher
Many pastors in churches today will not agree to perform the ceremony unless they meet with the couple first.  Some require pre-marital counseling, and some may want to meet with the couple several times.  At the very least, the pastor will ask what you want to get out of the ceremony, and then will share what he wants to do for his part.  The entire wedding party will be present at the rehearsal, so that on the Big Day, everyone knows what to expect.

How many of us are so involved in the church that we ask the preacher what he'll be sharing the next Sunday?  If you really want to surprise your minister, look at the next Sunday's sermon title and Bible passage in the church bulletin or the church mailer, and then read the passage beforehand.  You might even want to write a short devotion on that passage and take it with you to the Sunday service.  The Bible is so rich, and has so many different layers, that the homework you do may line up perfectly with the sermon, or it might pull something completely different from the Scripture passage.  Then, if you have a chance to speak to your pastor after the service, you can encourage him with your knowledge of the passage instead of just shaking his hand and mumbling, "Good sermon."

Why do you think that is so far-fetched?  Remember what I said about preparing for life as you would prepare for your wedding day?  Many of us want to write our own vows to share on our wedding day.  As the Church, we are the Bride of Christ (Matthew 25; Ephesians 5; 2 Corinthians 11).  We want to reaffirm our love for God, in a church setting, before a priest or a pastor.

Don't let you wedding day be the last time you speak to your pastor face to face.

The Guest List
There are some people you have to invite to your wedding, like Aunt Getrude or Cousin George.  Then there are people you want to invite to your marriage celebration.  Those people are invested in your lives.  They are there to support you.  They are there to rejoice with you.  They are there to pick you up when you fall.

A good Best Man will make sure the Groom shows up on time, and is dressed and sober by the time the wedding starts.  A good Best Friend will call you on Sunday to make sure you are up and ready to go to church.  If we surround ourselves with celebrants who love God and love us, we are less likely to backslide out of the church experience.  Yes, you can worship God wherever you are, just like you can get married just about any place.  But just as there is something special about a church wedding, there is also something missing if you spend your Sundays at the lake or watching the game.  Finding friends who will share that passion with you, who will encourage you in your Christian walk, is invaluable to your spiritual life.

Proverbs 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."  If you choose to hang out with friends who are on fire for God, then you can be encouraged in your daily walk with Christ, as well.

Most of the time, the guests at the wedding are also invited to the wedding reception.  This is usually a big party with our best friends.  A meal is usually shared together.  Everyone in attendance wishes the happy couple success in life and joy forever.  No expense is spared--this may be the biggest party you'll ever throw.  The Bible talks about heaven as "the Wedding Supper of the Lamb."  God spared no expense to see that you are together with Jesus forever.

From time to time, I think, there ought to be parties in life.  Fellowship with like-minded believers is very important to our spiritual health.  Spare no expense.  Go all out.  Throw the biggest party you can, as often as you can.  Just make sure you invite good people that you wouldn't mind spending Eternity with.

The Vows
As I have mentioned before, the vows we take before God, His Church and each other are very serious.  In the same way, the affirmations of our faith that we make every week can encourage us greatly to be faithful, loyal, trustworthy and true.  Many men I know have said that one big reason they didn't cheat on their wives was that they had promised "for better or worse, in sickness and in health, to forsake all others as long as you both shall live."

As we go on through life, there are certain affirmations we need to make.  It doesn't hurt us to repeat aloud "I will love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength."  We need to speak Scripture over our lives, over our jobs, over our friends.  This will encourage us to be faithful.  It reminds us to keep things in perspective.  And when we make mistakes, we remember that we are in a covenant relationship with a God who is always faithful, always true.

2 Timothy 2:13 says, "If we are unfaithful, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny who He is."  None of us is perfect, but we serve a perfect God.  In this way, God models forgiveness toward us, so that we in turn can forgive others.