Saturday, January 20, 2018

Grace Upon Grace

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By lovingkindness and truth iniquity is atoned for, and by the fear of the Lord one keeps away from evil.  --Proverbs 16:6
Last week I wrote about sanctification and purity.  We should live our lives in such a way befitting children of God.   1 John 2:1 says, "My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin..."  Wait a minute, hold the phone!  Doesn't Paul say in Romans 3:23 that "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God"?  I know.  That's why John goes on to say in 1 John 2:1b, "...and if anyone sins we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous."

Remember the scene described in Zechariah 3:1-5?  I wrote about it last week--you can read my prior post, or you can look up the passage for yourself.  Jesus is our Advocate, the One who stands with us before God and counters the accusations of Satan that we are sinful and undeserving of grace or mercy.  We are made of base metals, but Jesus covers us with pure gold.  More on that later.

Here's a thought I had in the shower this morning.  How many of us tend to be overcome by guilt and shame?  I do.  We become so overwhelmed that we stop being of any use to anyone.  We can be totally shut down and shut off from others while we wallow in guilt and shame.  So here's the deal.  Guilt and shame are God-given emotions that act as brakes to our sin.  Those emotions are designed to make us stop sinning, until we can turn around, correct our course, and move on.  But sometimes we fail to move on with our lives, even if we are now pointed in the right direction.  It's like Satan has applied the emergency brake in our lives, and moving forward is a strain to our engine.  We've got to recognize that our guilt and our shame have done their job--they have stopped our momentum to keep us from driving headlong into hell.  It is only when we let Jesus correct our course and take our guilt and shame away that we can be useful again.  We must disengage the emergency brake that Satan has set, so that we can continue to move as God intends us to go.

Last week I also talked a lot about gold.  Gold is good.  Gold is valuable.  Gold is precious.  Gold represents the goodness of God in our lives.  Fun fact: of the elements that make up the human body, over 99% are non-metal: oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, etc.  However, in the less than 1% that are metals, there are 11 distinct metals: chromium, cobalt, copper, iron, manganese, molybdenum, selenium, silicon, tin, vanadium, and zinc.  Think about these base metals as being your flesh.  Better yet, think of them as sins.  There are 10 commandments, and a bunch of other sins listed in the Bible; maybe one of them is a habit or a hangup for you. 

So the activities banned in the 10 commandments and one "secret sin" make up the real you.  God wants to infuse His character in you, so let's imagine Him represented as gold.  Now, the way to purify metals is to heat them up.  So let's suppose that you are a Christian, and god has given you a gold plating (referenced in Scripture as the righteousness of God in Christ, something that we are encouraged to put on like a robe--kind of like the clean robe that Jesus commanded to be put on Joshua the high priest in Zechariah 3:1-5.)  But He wants you to have more of Himself.  More "gold" in your make-up.  So He turns up the heat.  You are put in a situation that shows your true mettle (see what I did there?  "Mettle" is what we are made of; we're talking about base metals in the human body.  Keep up, will you?)

The melting point of tin is 450 degrees Fahrenheit.  Maybe "tin" is using the Lord's name in vain.  With a little effort, you can clean up your language, and not distract from your testimony.  A little more heat is applied.  The melting point of zinc is 787 degrees.  Maybe "zinc" is coveting.  With a bit more effort, you can learn to be content with what God gives you day by day.  The melting point of iron is 2100 degrees.  Maybe "iron" for you is lying, or adultery, or your "secret sin" that is not listed in the Top Ten.  It takes a lot of heat to get that out of your system.

Here's what I am trying to get at:  every time God points out a sin in your life, and prompts you to get rid of it (by applying heat or whatever), He adds a layer of gold to replace the base metal that was lost.  His desire is to make us full of Himself, pure and holy and set apart.  The more of ourselves we lose, the more grace is applied to our lives.  "For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace." (John 1:16)  When there is more gold and less base metal, we become more pure.  Like we learned last week, the karat weight gets closer to the perfectly pure 24 k when there is more pure gold and less metal alloy.

I am reading a book by Athol Dickson entitled The Gospel According to Moses: What my Jewish friends taught me about Jesus.  There is a chapter on forgiveness.  He talks about a three-fold process involving faith, repentance, and restoration.  I thought this analogy was thought-provoking:
Suppose I have jumped into a deep well.  If I refuse to admit that I am down in the well, how can I be convinced to grab a rope?  Similarly, if I refuse to admit I am disobedient to the Lord, how can I hope for reconciliation?  But I am embarrassed to find myself down here and frustrated that I cannot climb out on my own.  So although God has dropped a rope and stands at the top ready to pull me up, I go to unusual lengths to ignore Him.  I pretend there is no rope.  I pretend there is no well.  I pretend I can climb out anytime I like without His blasted rope.  I pretend I am supposed to be exactly where I am.  Sometimes I even pretend that God is not really up there or not really willing and able to pull me out.  Anything seems preferable to the humiliating admission that I am in a situation beyond my control.  But until I admit that, how can I grab the rope?  So this is why forgiveness first requires confession: to grab the rope, I must first realize that I need the rope.  Confession is admitting that I have foolishly fallen into a bad situation.  I am in trouble.  I am helpless.  I am wrong.  Only then can I accept the help God offers.  Now, having confessed, I have the rope in my hands.  But a question comes echoing down from the top of the well.  God wants to know, "If I start to pull, will you hold on tight?"  The words translated "repent" in both the Hebrew ad the Greek Scriptures carry the connotation of "turning," that is, facing away from my past sinful behavior and back toward God.  I cannot hold the rope yet continue to simultaneously splash around in the muck and mire.  Experience has shown that people who try to do both lose their grip and fall right back down.  So repentance is agreeing to stop messing about.  It is abandoning my sinful ways in order to give God and His rope my full attention.  Fortunately, there is a benefit to all those ridiculous excuses I offered prior to grabbing the rope.  It is this: now that I have admitted where I am, my pride is well and truly shattered, so when I look up at the small patch of sky and promise, "I won't do this any more," the promise rings true.  The rope tightens and, repentant, I ascend.  I used to believe the sole purpose of confession and repentance was to instill humility, as if God only cares about being in charge, like a bully demanding I "say uncle" before He lets me up.  But I have come to understand that confession motivates me to grab the rope and repentance inspires me to hold on tight.  They are for my benefit, not God's.  Remembering that even the Lord cannot make sense of nonsense in a logical universe, I suddenly see that even God cannot lift a person who does not grasp and hold the rope.  But of course, it is not really that simple.  The truth is, I have muddied the water with my floundering about below.  I am covered with the muck and mire I stirred up.  I have even swallowed some of the filthy stuff in my desperate attempts to escape on my own.  So as I am drawn closer to God a second question comes echoing down the shaft.  "Can you leave this well the way you found it?"  It is a fair question.  If someone pollutes a well, the only just and proper remedy is to restore the water to its former state of purity.  It is not good enough to dig another well someplace else, and certainly not good enough to provide a new bucket and rope while leaving the water muddy down below.  This is why the Hebrew Scriptures define justice as "life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth."  The only real justice is perfect justice--returning things to exactly the way they were before.  So I dangle here, midway between disaster below and delivery above, wondering how in the world I am going to leave the well the way I found it.  One thing is for sure: I must find a way.  Since "the soul who sins is the one who will die," (Ezekiel 18:4), apparently my life depends upon it.  --Dickson, Athol The Gospel According to Moses, pages 165-167
That verse in Ezekiel speaks to the fear that God would visit judgement on His people "to the third and fourth generation."  The Prophet gave the people hope, in that each person's sin was his own to deal with.  Further, there was hope in a system of substitutionary sacrifice: in the Old Testament, it was redeemed through the blood of bulls and goats.  Yet even this was a shadow of a greater sacrifice to come. 
"I shall take no young bull out of your house nor male goats out of your folds.  For every beast of the forest is Mine, the cattle on a thousand hills.  I know every bird of the mountains, and everything that moves in the field is Mine.  If I were hungry I would not tell you, for the world is Mine, and all it contains." --Psalm 50:9-12
 No animal sacrifice is sufficient for our atonement to a holy God.
With what shall I come to the Lord and bow myself before the God on high?  Shall I come to Him with burnt offerings, with yearling calves?  Does the Lord take delight in thousands of rams, in ten thousand rivers of oil?  Shall I present my firstborn for my rebellious acts, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?  He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of  you but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? --Micah 6:6-8 (emphasis mine).
This goes back to restoring the well to its former state.  Can it be done with burnt offerings? No.  Is there anything else I can possibly do?  I can know justice and love mercy and walk humbly before God, but I am powerless to fix what my sin has broken.
Given the absence of a perfect human being to balance the scales, I believe God accomplished the impossible on my behalf, reentering human history as Jesus and accepting all the mortal limitations of Adam except for one: Jesus never sinned.  Because I cannot be blameless before the Lord, Jesus became my surrogate, my substitute perfection on the universal scales of justice, providing the perfect life for perfect life that perfect justice requires.  Adam went down to death a flawed, divided man.  Jesus rose up from death a perfectly whole man.  The cosmic scales of justice were balanced.  The divided physical and spiritual selves were reunited, and nakedness once again forgotten.  And somehow--only God knows how--just as Adam bequeathed his imperfect spiritual condition to Seth and through him down to me, Jesus bequeaths his spiritual perfection to all who accept the gift of His sacrifice in our place.  I believe the annual sacrificial deaths at Yom Kippur prepared the way so that Jesus might show me the salvation of God, the perfect balancing of the scales of justice that was yet to come.  I believe in Jesus because I can see no other possibility.  Like a Jewish shepherd searching through his flock for an unblemished animal to take to the tabernacle altar, I realize I have nothing to offer God in return for the wrongs I have done.  Everything I have is flawed.  Moreover, everything is already His.  Like any Jew sincerely longing for teshuvah (repentance), I confess my sin and I repent--I grab the rope and hold on tight--but cleaning up the mess I have made of this well is beyond me.  Just as that Israelite shepherd must have known he had no hope of finding a truly unblemished lamb, I also know that everything I can offer has been damaged while in my possession.  Even the promise, "I'll be good", is doomed to be broken from the instant it leaves my mouth to echo up the shaft.  If the animal sacrifices of Torah teach anything, it is first that death is required for death, and second that a substitute death is acceptable to God.  Still, I suspect the shepherd of Moses' day approached the altar with fear and trembling, knowing the flawed animal in his arms was not enough, but bringing it anyway because God had so commanded, bringing it anyway because he believed his Lord was a loving God who would somehow find a way to mend their broken relationship in spite of his pitifully insignificant offering.  I believe the sincerity of that shepherd's humility and the depth of  his faith was adequate because it was well placed.  The Lord is indeed merciful.  He did indeed find a way to mend their relationship in spite of the fact that the shepherd could never pay the price for his sins.  That way was not Micah's firstborn child, and certainly not the shepherd's pathetic little lamb; it was the Lord's only begotten Son, Jesus, the man who is God, sliding down the rope to take my place because He knows I cannot leave this well the way I found it.  (Dickson, pages 179-180)
 In every popular Twelve Step Program, steps 8 and 9 have to do with identifying those people you have wronged, and as much as possible making amends.  The caveat is there because it is not always possible.  Jesus said, "All things are possible to him who believes."  Well placed faith is not in ourselves, not in our "higher power", but in Christ alone.  Only He can make all things new.  Only He can leave the well like it was when I found it.

Sunday, January 14, 2018

A Call to Purity

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God's grace first saves and then trains His people for godliness and good deeds.                --Steven J. Cole
When I was in college, my priorities changed.  I was thrust into a community that had different values and priorities than those I had grown up with.  Don't get the wrong idea--it was not bad, just different.  One of the ways I tried to fit in was that I began wearing gold chains (it was the 80's--don't judge).

See, a lot of my new friends were a lot more fashion conscious than I had been.  I tried to emulate them as much as I could.  Although I could not afford the latest fashions, I found that I could afford to accessorize.  So I bought myself an inexpensive gold chain.  After a few months of wearing it, however, my friends started commenting that my neck looked dirty.  As it turns out, as I would sweat and move around, the metal alloys in the gold chain started leaving dark brown stains on my neck.

I had to stop wearing the gold chain around my neck because instead of impressing the people I was trying to associate with, those who had grown up wearing gold knew the truth.  The gold I was wearing was cheap.  Maybe it was just gold-plated, or maybe it was only 9- or 10-karat gold.

A quick lesson on gold:  Jewelers have devised a system of grading the purity of gold.  The purest gold is given a grade of 24 karats, meaning 24 parts gold out of 24.  This, of course, is the most expensive.  The most popular selling gold items are 14-karats, meaning they are 14 parts gold and 10 parts metal alloy mix.  This is less expensive than pure gold, and one can say it is mostly gold because it contains more gold than metal alloy.  The least expensive gold items are 10-karat, meaning 10 parts gold and 14 parts metal alloy mix.  This type of jewelry appears to be gold, but it is mostly other metals.  The metal alloys would leave a dark red stain, like a rust ring, when it came into contact with my sweaty neck.

Metallurgists have for millennia tried to turn lead into gold. Spiritually, this transformation occurs by God's grace the moment we become a follower of Him.  The old self, made from the basest of metals, is transformed into gleaming gold worthy of going into the presence of God.  It is not something we do ourselves; it is done for us, like a jeweler who puts a gold plating over a lead statue.  Something worthless suddenly has incredible value.  What if the lead could choose to change its nature, and take on the properties of the gold plating?

The Capitol Building in Denver, Colorado is gold-plated.  You can see the mountain sunlight glinting off of it in the morning rush-hour.  It is supposed to symbolize the history of the Colorado gold rush.  It certainly does not mean that the legislature meeting beneath the dome is consecrated, or that the laws passed there are in any way divinely inspired.  Some would say that a revival is needed in the hearts of the state government; that would be the only way for the legislature to be more godly in their governing.

If we were to take stock of our hearts individually, each of us would realize that we fall woefully short of what God would call Righteous or Pure.  Even if we are proud and refuse to acknowledge our own sin, others might tend to judge us and point out our shortcomings.  This is what happened to Joshua the High Priest in Zechariah 3.
Then he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the Angel of the Lord, and Satan standing at his right hand to accuse him.  The Lord said to Satan, "The Lord rebuke you, Satan!  Indeed, the Lord who has chosen Jerusalem rebuke you!  Is this not a brand plucked from the fire?" (Zecharaiah 3:1-2)
I can imagine the Angel of the Lord, the Pre-Incarnate Christ, waving his hand toward Joshua, shifting His gaze from Satan the accuser (or prosecutor) to God, the All-Righteous Judge.
Now Joshua was clothed with filthy garments and standing before the Angel.  He spoke, and said to those who were standing before Him, saying, "Remove the filthy garments from him."  Again He said to him, "See, I have taken your iniquity away from you and will clothe you with festal robes."  Then I said, "Let them put a clean turban on his head."  So they put a clean turban on his head and clothed him with garments, while the Angel of the Lord was standing by. (Zechariah 3:3-5)
Joshua, the man standing before God, was a high priest of the people.  Yet Satan could still truthfully accuse him.  "Just look at him," Satan might have sneered.  "He's filthy.  How do you think he got that way?  He chose to wallow in it!  Not only is he impure on the outside; his heart is impure, too."  Yet by God's grace Joshua was cleaned up, and was given a holy veneer, a gold-plating as it were.  But it didn't stop there.
And the Angel of the Lord admonished Joshua, saying, "Thus says the Lord of Hosts: If you will walk in My ways and if you will perform My service, then you will also govern My house and also have charge of My courts, and I will grant you free access among those who are standing here." (Zechariah 3:6-7)
What a great promise.  Joshua the high priest could, by modifying his behavior, have access to the very throne of God.  He could retain the Angel of the Lord (an Old Testament name for Jesus) as his advocate against the Accuser, Satan himself.  It was the grace of God that brought him into the presence of the Almighty; it was an act of will on Joshua's part that would lead to godly living and a position of service in the Temple.

 There is a similar statement in the New Testament.  In Titus 2, Paul admonishes an early Christian missionary and church leader to act on the grace of God given to him.
For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men, instructing us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires and to live sensibly, righteously and godly in the present age, looking for the blessed hope and the appearing of the Glory of our great God and Savior, Christ Jesus, who gave Himself for us to redeem us from every lawless deed, and to purify for Himself a people for His own possession, zealous for good deeds. (Titus 2:11-14)
God's grace is available to all.  In the first 10 verses of Titus 2, Paul had been speaking of different groups of people: older men, older women, younger men, younger women, and slaves.  God's grace is not exclusive to one particular class of people; it is available to all types of people.  What they do with that grace, that gold plating applied by the Creator, determines whether they become a 9- or 10-karat Christian (who leaves a mark of sin, and is seen by the world as "cheap" or "not pure and genuine"), or whether they become a 14- or 18-karat Christian (one who is more pure, and is seen by the world as "valuable" or "treasured" or "priceless").

What does becoming pure entail?  Again, it starts with God's grace.  As we grow in that grace, we are instructed to deny ungodliness and worldly desires.  We are encouraged to live sensibly, righteously and godly in the here and now.  We are to look forward to the blessed hope of the glorious appearance of Christ Jesus, for it was Jesus who brought grace to us in the first place, giving Himself as a sacrifice to redeem us from our sinfulness.  It is also Jesus who desires to purify for Himself a treasured people, who are zealous for good deeds.

When we are observed by the world, we may be admired for our godliness and purity.  We may also be accused of being legalistic or fanatical about our faith.  As long as our motives are pure and we strive to reflect the glory of God and not ourselves, then there is nothing wrong with our being fanatical zealots for Christ.  See, the purpose of the moon is to reflect the light of the sun.  The sun is the source of that light, but people cannot approach the sun because of the intense heat and energy it radiates.  Men can, however, visit the moon, for it is accessible.  In the same way, people cannot possibly approach God because of His pure holiness and intense righteousness, but they can approach us as we reflect the very light of God to them.

The sign pictured above hangs in my bathroom.  It is a shortened version of Ephesians 5:26, there so I am reminded to be sanctified or set apart every time I wash my hands or my face or even my entire body in the shower.  Some may think I have taken this verse out of context, because Ephesians 5 speaks to the relationship between husbands and wives, and this verse is in the context of how men should treat their wives.  I believe Paul was making a comparison, asking men to treat their wives as Christ treats His bride, the Church, "washing them with the water and with the word."  Each time I wash, I pray that God would wash me with His own Word (not the Scripture only, but the Word whom John said "was with God and was God.")  I pray to be sanctified daily, to be set apart to His holiness and to be purified as gold.

Let this be a season of sanctification, "So that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ." (1 Peter 1:7).

Monday, January 1, 2018

Resolved: I will be more holy, and balanced


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Do, or do not--there is no try.  --Yoda, (The Empire Strikes Back)
Now is the time of resolving to do better this year than last.  We promise ourselves that we will be better versions of ourselves, that we will avoid temptations, or that we will work harder to achieve our goals.

I am no different.  I have resolved to improve in every area of my life:

  • Physically
  • Mentally
  • Emotionally
  • Spiritually
  • Financially
  • Socially
  • Professionally
This seven-fold approach is rather ambitious, I know.  It is much easier to say, "I will lose ten pounds", or "I will save more money".  Those are great objectives, and they may fit in with physical improvements or financial improvements you want to make this year.

The reason I have chosen to use this "whole person" approach is to allow God to show me what I need in every area of my life.  In my quest for balance, I have looked at different pie charts, trying to find the fitting representation of my goals.
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It's easy enough to make a pie chart with seven different areas, one for each of the life areas listed above.  The problem is that when one area is deficient or needs work, the pie chart gives it a smaller percentage of the whole, still keeping the whole intact.  The areas I need to work on become mere slivers, and may disappear entirely.  The pie remains whole, rounded out, with no pieces missing.  If I eat a piece of apple pie, then it is no longer round; there is a wedge (or a half) missing.  The circle shape dissolves into a shape more closely akin to a flat tire.

What I would like to create is a "tire chart".  If I need work in the area of spirituality, for instance--if I do not pray or read the Bible consistently or faithfully every day, I want that part of the circle to show a concave indention, kind of like a flat tire.  Conversely, if I spend too much time obsessing over my job or my savings account, I want there to be a bulge in the circle, representing an overabundance of effort or thought placed in that area.  Can you see it in your mind's eye?  To keep rolling down the road efficiently, you have to pare down the bulges and fill in the flat spots.

There is a scripture that alludes to the Whole Man concept, and it is one that I hope to memorize and meditate upon in the coming months.
Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you through and through [that is, separate you from profane and vulgar things, make you pure and whole and undamaged--consecrated to Him--set apart for His purpose]; and may your spirit and soul and body be kept complete and [be found] blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.  Faithful and absolutely trustworthy is He who is calling you [to Himself for your salvation], and He will do it [He will fulfill His call by making you holy, guarding you, watching over you, and protecting you as His own].  --1 Thessalonians 5:23-25 AMP
See, I want to be set apart for His purpose, no matter my impurity or my brokenness or my half-assed attempts at self improvement.  (Yes, I realize the irony of using a profane or vulgar term to describe my desire to be holy and set apart.  Alas, I am still a work in progress.)

Paul references the three-fold nature of mankind.  We are body, soul, and spirit.  As we are created in the image of God, we reflect Jesus (who came in bodily form), God the Father, and the Holy Spirit.  With this in mind, we can strive to become more like our Creator by honing the creation.

Improvements in the body are made by focusing on exercise, nutrition, and hygiene.  This year I want to be less of a couch-potato, and become more active.  I want to eat better.  I want to take care of myself, so that I can present myself to God an acceptable sacrifice.  "Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship." (Romans 12:1).

Improvements in the spirit include prayer, Bible study, and character development.  I don't want my prayers to be shallow, a recitation of a "God bless mommy and daddy" list.  Neither do I want my Bible reading to be something that allows me to check off that box on my To Do List.  I want to actually walk with God, communing with Him as Adam did before the fall.  "Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not quench the Spirit; do not despise prophetic utterances.  But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; abstain from every form of evil." (1 Thessalonians 5:16-22).

Improvements in the soul can be further subdivided.  The soul is a person's mind, will, and emotions.  To keep my mind sharp, I want to read and write and meditate.  The mind is a muscle, and it must be exercised daily or it will become dull. "We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ." (2 Corinthians 10:5).  To bend my will in accordance with the will of God, I must want what He wants.  "For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality." (1 Thessalonians 4:3).  To keep myself emotionally in check, I must grieve at that which the Holy Spirit grieves, and I must rejoice for that which the Holy Spirit rejoices.  "Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.  Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.  Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ Jesus also has forgiven you." (Ephesians 4:30-32).

There is a part of a phrase in our text, in the Amplified Version, that I do not want to gloss over; I would be remiss if I did not point it out.  1 Thessalonians 5:23 says (in part):  "Now may the God of peace...make you pure and whole and undamaged."  Purity we have talked about.  The other ideas, those of wholeness and without damage, those are things that are maybe more personal to you, things that the church typically skips over.  I work in insurance claims, so I know the concept of making someone "whole" in the financial sense.  Whenever someone experiences a loss, insurance will indemnify that person for her loss.  This is easy enough to do with property (pay the value of a crashed car or a burned out building).  It can even be applied to physical injury (pay the medical bills for your healing, and maybe, depending on the coverage, replace the wages lost during that time period.)  But what about those whose innocence was lost through no fault of her own?  The world is full of broken people, and no man can restore what was lost or repair the brokenness that some people know.  Only God can heal your brokenness.  This past year a huge number of women came together in a show of unity, saying #MeToo.  Some are angry, some are vindictive, some are ashamed.  All are broken, beyond what the justice system may offer as a remedy.  God knows your need; only He can make you whole.  He knows the damage you have suffered; only He can undo that damage, if you only ask Him to.

With all this in mind, I wish for you, as well as myself, success in becoming more Godly, more Christ-like, and more filled with His Spirit.  Have a blessed and joyful New Year.