Searching for validation

When I was interviewing for my current job, I was given instructions on how to get to the office building, and where to park in the parking garage.  The parking garage was gated, and automated--that is, there was no parking attendant to let you out, or to tell you how to proceed.  Those tenants or employees who left their cars there could scan a badge, and a reader would open the gate and let them out.  Those, like me, who were visiting, needed validation of our parking.  Without validation, we could not get out of the normal exits; there was only one exit marked "Visitors", and it accepted a validated ticket, or cash.  The validated ticket confirmed that you were there for a business purpose; the tenant business would "validate" your parking, by assuring the building owner that you belonged there, and that you were not using that parking garage for any other purpose (such as shopping in the nearby stores, or stalking one of their employees).

Psychologically, we seek validation for social acceptance.  Many times we adopt a "herd" mentality, believing that if we conform with the social group, we will not "stand out" or be a social outcast.  Our emotions are validated by words of affirmation, acceptance into a social group, or our own feelings of self worth.  It is thought that children who act out, or adults who face an existential crisis at some point in their lives or careers, are crying out for validation.  They want to know that they matter, that their life counts for something.  Figuratively, that person is standing on an elevated platform and shouting, "Hey! I matter!"

Unfortunately, we often conform to the crowd with very little information about the motives and objectives of those we emulate.  Our discomfort with what we perceive as an ambiguous social situation causes us to mimic the actions of the majority of those around us.  We "go with the flow", attempting to "go along to get along."  We receive internal validation, thinking, "I must be all right because everybody else is doing it this way."  This might cause your mother or some other authority figure to question your methodology: "If everybody jumped off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff, too?"

Scripturally, we are admonished in Romans 12:2 to hold ourselves to a higher standard:

Do not be conformed to this world--this age, fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs.  But be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind--by its new ideals and its new attitude--so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you]. --Romans 12.2 Amplified Bible

Therefore we are admonished to follow God's will for us, and not blindly follow the crowd.  We are to seek our validation from Him--our Creator (the one who made us), our Redeemer (the one who made a sacrifice for us), our Helper (the one who walks alongside us, guiding us with the Still, Small Voice).  "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." (John 3:16)

So how do we do that? How do we know the will of God, and how do we receive validation from Him?  Consider that we are made in the very image of God (Genesis 1:27).  Think about that.  We have been formed and fashioned with God as the pattern for our lives.  That should give us a proper sense of self-worth.  As long as I do not deviate from what God looks like, then God will be pleased with me.  In the Old Testament, this meant not forming and fashioning idols that look like us or some other created thing, and worshiping that image as a god.  In the New Testament, its meaning was expanded to doing what God does--showing love by providing food and clothing and shelter where it is needed, and sharing the gospel of Christ wherever we go.

Recently there have been great advances in the field of imaging.  At the most basic level is the mirror.  It gives us a pretty good idea of what we look like.  Then there are photographs, still images of how we appear at any given time; these can be made into small prints to be carried around with us, or into large posters that can be placed on walls or signs.  Even better are movies and video images, showing us what we look like in motion at a given time.  Medically, we have x-ray images available to see what we look like on the inside, followed by Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) and Computed Tomography (CT) scans.  We can even get into 3-D images, like holographs.  With the advent of 3-D copiers, we can make images of things that can be examined from all sides.  Yet with all of these advances, we cannot even come close to the workings of God.

Can I ask my image in the mirror to go to work for me, while I stay home?  Can I send a hologram of myself to take a test for me in school?  No.  But God, with His infinite imagination, has created us to be images of Himself in both appearance and in action; we can mirror our Source in both word and in deed.  And that ability cries out for validation, as well.

There are a half-dozen other definitions for the word "validation" besides social validation:  it can mean verification that a product or service meets the needs of its users.  It can mean documentation that a process or system meets its pre-determined specifications and quality attributes. It can be a test to ensure that something is suitable for the purpose for which it is being used.  And it can be confirmation that something is "well-formed" and follows a defined structure.  While most of these definitions have applications in engineering or data transfer, they can have spiritual applications, as well.  Psalm 149:13 says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Ephesians 2:10 says that we are created in Christ Jesus to do good works "which God prepared in advance for us to do."

When you stand before a mirror and raise your right hand, what does your mirror image do?  If you walk in front of a video camera, what will the on-screen image show?  So if we are created in the image of God, then we should do what He does.  That is our validation.  1 John 4:1 says, "Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world."  Put another way, if we are in an ambiguous situation, and want to validate our feelings, we shouldn't just do as others do, or follow the social mores; we should look to the leader and see if that person mirrors God.  That is the only way to validate ourselves.  1 Thessalonians 1:6 says, "You became imitators of us and of the Lord; in spite of severe suffering, you welcomed the message with the joy given by the Holy Spirit."

When I finished my interview, I failed to get my parking validated.  I wandered the parking garage for several minutes, searching for an appropriate exit.  When I found the visitor's exit, I had to pay the price to enter into the freeway.  My friend, unless you validate your existence through the One who created you, you too will have to pay the price.

Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. (Ephesians 5:1)