Trials, Tribulations, and Truth

 

Do not pray for easier lives.  Pray to be stronger men. --John F. Kennedy

Tough week.  Sunday I had recommitted to God that I would be more faithful to him, that I would strive with my whole being to glorify him in all that I do.  Remembering the Sunday before, when I had worked for 10 hours running back and forth, serving with all my strength; then having to walk 1.2 miles to the employee parking lot where I had left my car.  I thought about how far it was, and how long it would take me to walk there (it would have taken even longer to wait for the employee shuttle, the line was so long.)  Then I realized that all I could do was take one step at a time.  One foot in front of the other, and soon, I was at the next stoplight; then I was at the Youth Ballpark; then I was at the parking lot, in view of my car.  That was the lesson that I have been learning--don't bellyache that the destination is too far, just start the journey and keep going.

So I had this going on early this week.  Claiming God's promise in Isaiah 26:3: "You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee."

Then came the test.

I get a phone call on Thursday.  Emergency.  Don't leave work, but there's this thing.  Big thing.  Been coming on for a couple of days.  Needs to be dealt with.  Difficult.  Hard.  Don't want to face it, but can't avoid it.  I'm coming home.  No, don't.  But I can help.  DON'T LEAVE WORK!!! Okay, but call me.

Try to do my job, but can't concentrate on the task at hand.  Then I get another call, this time from a client. The payment I sent didn't get there.  I check it.  Yes it went out, to this address.  What do you mean that's not the right address?  And the payment that was due to you, you were going to use it to pay your rent? And to buy diapers for your baby?  And now you have nothing until the corrected payment gets to you next week? And your landlord is threatening eviction?  Hang on, my boss is saying something--yes, I know that late payments could result in fines against my company.  Yes, I know that interest payments are due if the late payment is my fault.  Yes, sir, this late payment is my fault.

Tell me again why I got out of bed this morning?

Praying hard all the way home.  A scripture is brought to mind.  Romans 8:28: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."  Yes, but Lord, I should have left work to deal with this emergency.  Yet, I know that if I had left, I wouldn't have heard from the client, and I wouldn't have been able to correct the address and re-send the check.  But I feel so bad for the young mother who is in such dire straits, and it is my fault she didn't have the money she was expecting.  In a perfect world, I wouldn't have messed up the payment.  In a perfect world, I could've been available during this emergency.  In a perfect world, there wouldn't have been any emergency, and there would have been no need to leave work, and no double-bind, and no feelings of failing twice in one day.

So much is out of my control.  And when life gets complicated, the things I do have control over don't always go according to plan, so it adds to the trouble.  Yet in John 16, Jesus said these soothing words:

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world. --John 16:33

Peace
He did not say there would be peace in the circumstances.  He did not say that in my own strength I could achieve peace.  He said, "In me you may have peace."  No matter what we are going through, he is our peace.  All he asks from us is faithfulness.  When Peter had the faith to walk on water, he took his eyes off of Jesus, and when he saw the wind and the waves--when he saw the circumstances of where he was--he started to sink.  We must remember the words of Jesus ("I have told you these things"), and meditate on them rather than worrying and being consumed with our circumstances.  It is hard to understand, but we know what Paul said in Phillippians 4:7, "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

Trouble
We live in a fallen world.  We don't have to look very far to see things that would not happen in a perfect world--hunger, homelessness, hopelessness and despair.  We only have to turn on the news networks to see that these problems are world-wide, not just in our own neighborhoods.  God may give us opportunity to fight injustice, or to feed the hungry, or to bring hope to the hopeless.  But if we visualize the scope of the problem, the breadth and depth and height of it, we could very easily get discouraged.  We must look only at what we can do in this moment.  One step, one day at a time.  God promises that one day, he will wipe every tear from our eyes.  Isaiah 16:5 promises, "In love, a throne will be established; in faithfulness, a man will sit on it--one from the house of David--one who in judging seeks justice and speeds the cause of the righteous."  That is what I think of when I read the first part of the Lord's Prayer: "Thy kingdom come." Even now, Lord Jesus, come quickly!

Overcome
He is faithful.  He is powerful.  He who turned water into wine can turn chaos into calmness.  We, who are called by his Name, can overcome the world, as well.  1 John 5:4-5 says, "For everyone born of God overcomes the world.  This is the victory that overcomes the world, even our faith.  Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God."  Are you an overcomer? God is faithful, and he can work through those who are faithful to him.  No one can do everything; but everyone can do something.  A tremendous journey begins with one step, and is followed by another step, then another, and another until you are in a different place than when you started.

I am pleased to tell you that the emergency was dealt with.  The crisis is not over, but by God's grace it will resolve well.  And on Friday I got a call from that client, who had informed me that I had made that error on her payment, the error the could have so many different consequences.  She thanked me for being so thoughtful and caring.  She won't get the money until next week, but her landlord has promised to work with her, and she has family that can help her buy diapers and baby food for her daughter.  Even though I felt hopeless in those situations, by God's grace I was faithful in always trying to do the right thing, one step at a time. To God be the glory, who can bring peace under any circumstance, and bring victory through my failings.