A Life Well Planned

My daughter was in a wedding recently.  No, she was not the bride.  She was the maid of honor. What a ton of work she had to do!  By the time it was all over, well, let's just say she was very happy for the newlywed couple.  Verrrry happy.

I started thinking about weddings, church weddings in particular.  If we followed that same blueprint throughout our marriage, there would be no more divorce.  Let me show you what I mean.

The Planning
Every detail is planned out in advance, from the guest list to the decorations to the vows to the reception.  Every moment is special, because it was thought out in advance.  Sometimes well in advance.

Now if we planned out our marriage the way we planned the wedding, there would be fewer mistakes.  I know that unexpected things happen in life.  But if you are following a plan, you'll know better how to handle life's little surprises.

I don't mean you have to plan where you'll live, what you'll drive, or what career you will have for the rest of your life.  Those things are subject to change.  I know young women who just knew they'd marry a businessman (or a blue collar worker, or a cowboy), and they'd work to save up a down payment on a house, and they'd get pregnant by the time she was 24, and they'd have two (or three) kids, who would go to the best schools....  On and on it goes.  When unexpected things happen, like sickness, or debt, or infertility, or job loss--when these things happen, we are often devastated.

How, then, can we plan ahead in life?  What plans can we make with any certainty that, whatever else happens, this will come about?  Again, let's use the wedding as an example.

The Church
When my wife and I were engaged, a lot things depended upon which church we chose.  We wanted to be married in the church where we met, where many of our friends were.  But there were some dates, for instance, that were not available.  In fact, if we wanted a summer wedding, there were exactly two dates available at that church.  People still ask us what was the significance of August 19--why did we choose to be married on that date?  We tell them it was either then or August 26; anything other than those dates, and we would have had to choose a different church.

I have discovered that a lot of things depend on which church you choose to attend.  Are you being fed?  Are you engaged in the worship experience?  Do you have friends there?  Is your being there a special event?  I don't mean you go once a year on special occasions, like Easter or Christmas.  I mean that every time you go, as often as you attend, do you put in as much preparation as you did the day you were married?

Think back to your wedding day.  Or if you are still single, think of the last wedding you attended. There were probably flowers, maybe some candles.  There was music that you enjoyed, that you remember still.  Who put all those decorations there?  It wasn't the church staff.  It was probably you, or your family and close friends.  The same thing goes on today.  We go to church expecting the pastor or staff to do all the work, but we contribute nothing.  More often than not, with that attitude, we leave the church as empty as we were when we came in.

Hebrews 10:25 says, "We should not stop gathering together with other believers, as some of you are doing. Instead, we must continue to encourage each other even more as you see the Day drawing near."

The Preacher
Many pastors in churches today will not agree to perform the ceremony unless they meet with the couple first.  Some require pre-marital counseling, and some may want to meet with the couple several times.  At the very least, the pastor will ask what you want to get out of the ceremony, and then will share what he wants to do for his part.  The entire wedding party will be present at the rehearsal, so that on the Big Day, everyone knows what to expect.

How many of us are so involved in the church that we ask the preacher what he'll be sharing the next Sunday?  If you really want to surprise your minister, look at the next Sunday's sermon title and Bible passage in the church bulletin or the church mailer, and then read the passage beforehand.  You might even want to write a short devotion on that passage and take it with you to the Sunday service.  The Bible is so rich, and has so many different layers, that the homework you do may line up perfectly with the sermon, or it might pull something completely different from the Scripture passage.  Then, if you have a chance to speak to your pastor after the service, you can encourage him with your knowledge of the passage instead of just shaking his hand and mumbling, "Good sermon."

Why do you think that is so far-fetched?  Remember what I said about preparing for life as you would prepare for your wedding day?  Many of us want to write our own vows to share on our wedding day.  As the Church, we are the Bride of Christ (Matthew 25; Ephesians 5; 2 Corinthians 11).  We want to reaffirm our love for God, in a church setting, before a priest or a pastor.

Don't let you wedding day be the last time you speak to your pastor face to face.

The Guest List
There are some people you have to invite to your wedding, like Aunt Getrude or Cousin George.  Then there are people you want to invite to your marriage celebration.  Those people are invested in your lives.  They are there to support you.  They are there to rejoice with you.  They are there to pick you up when you fall.

A good Best Man will make sure the Groom shows up on time, and is dressed and sober by the time the wedding starts.  A good Best Friend will call you on Sunday to make sure you are up and ready to go to church.  If we surround ourselves with celebrants who love God and love us, we are less likely to backslide out of the church experience.  Yes, you can worship God wherever you are, just like you can get married just about any place.  But just as there is something special about a church wedding, there is also something missing if you spend your Sundays at the lake or watching the game.  Finding friends who will share that passion with you, who will encourage you in your Christian walk, is invaluable to your spiritual life.

Proverbs 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."  If you choose to hang out with friends who are on fire for God, then you can be encouraged in your daily walk with Christ, as well.

Most of the time, the guests at the wedding are also invited to the wedding reception.  This is usually a big party with our best friends.  A meal is usually shared together.  Everyone in attendance wishes the happy couple success in life and joy forever.  No expense is spared--this may be the biggest party you'll ever throw.  The Bible talks about heaven as "the Wedding Supper of the Lamb."  God spared no expense to see that you are together with Jesus forever.

From time to time, I think, there ought to be parties in life.  Fellowship with like-minded believers is very important to our spiritual health.  Spare no expense.  Go all out.  Throw the biggest party you can, as often as you can.  Just make sure you invite good people that you wouldn't mind spending Eternity with.

The Vows
As I have mentioned before, the vows we take before God, His Church and each other are very serious.  In the same way, the affirmations of our faith that we make every week can encourage us greatly to be faithful, loyal, trustworthy and true.  Many men I know have said that one big reason they didn't cheat on their wives was that they had promised "for better or worse, in sickness and in health, to forsake all others as long as you both shall live."

As we go on through life, there are certain affirmations we need to make.  It doesn't hurt us to repeat aloud "I will love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength."  We need to speak Scripture over our lives, over our jobs, over our friends.  This will encourage us to be faithful.  It reminds us to keep things in perspective.  And when we make mistakes, we remember that we are in a covenant relationship with a God who is always faithful, always true.

2 Timothy 2:13 says, "If we are unfaithful, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny who He is."  None of us is perfect, but we serve a perfect God.  In this way, God models forgiveness toward us, so that we in turn can forgive others.

I'm So Broke I Can't Pay Attention--God Please Use Me

For the wages of sin is death, but the FREE gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.  --Romans 6:23

Not long ago I was complaining to my son about being overdrawn in one of my accounts.  He found a video online of some stand-up comic (no, I don't remember who it was, and I am too lazy to look it up), who was also complaining of being broke.  Part of his schtick was to complain about the bank's "low balance" charge. "It's like, 'You don't have enough money in the account, so we are going to take some of what you don't have.'  I guess the bank needs it more than I do."  And my favorite quip was about being overdrawn.  "So I have negative ten dollars in my account.  I am worse than broke.  I have less than nothing.  I can't even take something that's offered to me for free.  It's like, 'Free, Take One,' but I say, 'No!!  That free thing is going to cost me ten bucks.' "

I thought of that comedy routine this morning as I was listening to a radio preacher talk about the parable of the hidden treasure and the pearl of great price.  Jesus was teaching the people what the kingdom of heaven is like.

The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field.  When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all that he had and bought the field.  Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls.  When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.  --Matthew 13:44-46.

Essentially, Jesus was saying that finding heaven is worth giving up everything you have.  You have to come to Jesus empty, without any distractions.  You can't have anything in your life that is more valuable to you than He is.

The parable He told had two examples.  One is some fellow who just happened upon a treasure.  Here he is, walking through a field that is not his.  He is probably taking a shortcut, somewhere off the beaten path.  He is not actively looking for treasure; he just stumbles upon it.  When he sees what it is, and how valuable it is, he is willing to go sell everything he has to buy the field.  Why?  Is he interested in real estate?  No, I don't think so.  The field is where the treasure is.  If he wants the treasure that much, it must be worth a lot more than the land it is buried in.

The other example is a businessman.  He is a trader, a buyer and seller of goods.  He is actively seeking the Next Big Thing.  When he sees this pearl, he recognizes its value.  He knows its worth.  He is willing to sell everything he has to own this one amazing pearl.  This is no accident.  He is not some untrained person who sees the pearl and doesn't recognize its worth.  There may have been dozens, even hundreds, who saw this pearl and passed on by.  But this man knew its value, so much so that he divested himself of everything to get it.

The real world example is some people are not looking for God.  They are spiritually hungry, but when He appears to them, it is quite a surprise.  Others may be actively seeking.  They, too, are spiritually hungry, but they know what they want and know where to go look for it.  Others may see the treasure, shrug their shoulders, and say, "I'll never be able to afford that."  Others may look at the pearl and think, "I hate pearls.  I'd rather have something else."

God knows who is ready to receive Him.  He knows our minds, and will reveal Himself to us if we seek Him with all our hearts (Jeremiah 29:13).  I'll confess that when I was younger I studied evangelism.  The men I looked up to, the great evangelists, would get hundreds of people to pray the sinner's prayer.  My father, the pastor that he was, measured the success of his church by how many people were baptized each year.  Both those are great things.  Making confessions of faith and being baptized are the first steps in knowing Christ personally.  But we never know how many fall away, how many slip back into sin or are swallowed up by the world.  Remember the parable of the sower? It was the seed that fell on good ground that took root and produced a hundred-fold.  These are the people who know the worth of the treasure they have found, and are willing to give up everything to keep it.

I know several people who made a profession of faith when they were young.  Many who were baptized.  But now they pursue worldly pleasures, and have forgotten God.  They go out drinking and partying every weekend.  They take the boat out on the lake.  They chase women.  This is what they live for.  God knows it is not what they were made for.  We are made to glorify Him, and to have fellowship with Him forever.

I made a profession of faith when I was just seven years old.  I was baptized.  Thankfully, though, over the years I have realized that nothing I own, nothing I can earn, nothing I can create can compare to the love of God through our Savior Jesus Christ.  Sometimes I have been distracted by sinful pleasures, by possessions, by my work or my leisure time.  From time to time God has to remind me that all of these things are standing between me and Him.  In order to get to Him, I have to put away all my toys, put off my work, ignore the worldly pleasures around me.  Only then can I get close to Him, and pursue Him with all my heart.

Yest, the love of God is a free gift.  But in the end, it costs us everything.  It is only when we empty ourselves that we can be used by God in a mighty way.

Washing With Water And The Word

God's loyal love couldn't have run out, his merciful love couldn't have dried up.  They're created new every morning.  How great your faithfulness! I'm sticking with GOD (I say it over and over).  He's all I've got left.  --Lamentations 3:22-24 (The Message)

I saw the movie War Room yesterday.  What a great film!  I found myself wiping tears from my eyes several times during the story.  Basically, every time they depicted the grace of God in the lives of men and women, I teared up.  (I will confess at shedding one or two tears when seeing Les Miserables--even though it is a secular story, it has moments of grace in it as well.)

As we were leaving the theater, my wife commented how the story line parrallels our own marriage in many ways.  I had to stop her in the parking lot and look her in the eyes to thank her for showing grace to me years ago when we divorced and remarried.  More recently than that, there were times when I would not shed tears for anything or anyone.  I was like an emotional zombie.  But the older I get, the more grateful I am for grace.  It brings tears to my eyes every time.

The marriage relationship is a fantastic vehicle for grace.  I think that is why the Apostle Paul used marriage as a picture of Jesus' relationship with us.  In the letter to the Ephesians, Paul admonished husbands to love their wives, "just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,. to make her holy"  He goes on in the very next verse to explain exactly how Christ makes her (the church) holy, and by extension how we (people) should treat our spouses:

To make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to prsent her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.  In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.  He who loves his wife loves himself.  After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church. --Ephesians 5:26-29

The first thing I do every morning as soon as I get out of bed is take a shower.  Without that washing of my own body, I feel stinky and smelly, sweaty and oily; I don't want to be around anybody until I have had my shower.  I would not think of going more than one day without a shower.  Yet how many times have I gone days and days without "the washing of the Word"?  My Bible gathers dust as I try to face life's challenges myself, without any help.  Is it any wonder I struggle during those times?

Think about it:  Most of us in the First World bathe once a day.  We brush our teeth twice a day.   We wash our hands multiple times a day, either after they become unclean, or just before cooking or eating.  And yet we try to get by with just a weekly (or longer) episode of the washing of the Word.  Then, if someone comes to us who is filthier than we are, who needs a spiritual cleansing, we act like it is beneath us to minister to them, to care for them spiritually.  Are we really so holy that we cannot lower ourselves to the position of the drunks and prostitutes in order to help them out?  Or do we really have a knowledge deep down in our souls that we are just as sinful as they are, and we don't want our own sins to be exposed?

I know that my walk with Jesus is deeper and more fulfilling when I read my Bible some every day.  This is what I mean by the washing of the Word.  Read it.  Study the Scriptures.  "Be ready, in season and out of season," to share the Gospel message (2 Timothy 4:2).  To really be prepared, I must take the time every day to be in the Word, and to engage in the presence of Jesus.

Back to Paul's message in Ephesians 5 about our relationship with Christ being like a good, solid marriage relationship.  If we present ourselves to God, His grace takes us in and cleans us up.  In the same way, if your spouse has those annoying habits that just drive you up the wall, it is better to handle it with grace rather than with arguing or fighting.  In one scene of the movie War Room, the older lady who works as a spiritual mentor asks the young mother to write down all of her husband's faults.  She comes back in an hour, and the young mother has three pages of grievances written down. Then the older woman puts it in perspective when she asks, "How much grace has God given you?"  In other words, God has a lot more than three pages of sins and shortcomings in my life.  Yet He was willing to give His only Son as a sacrifice, to blot out my transgressions, and to restore a right relationship between me and a holy God.

Today in my quiet time I was reading a chapter from Leviticus.  There were so many things in the Law that made people unclean.  The chapter I read was about clean and unclean food.  Eating an unclean animal, or even touching the dead body of an unclean animal, made you unclean (that is, unholy, unfit to come before God or other people).  Elsewhere, there are warnings about touching unclean people; so if I touched the carcass of an unclean animal (maybe a dog had died in the street, or a shepherd had killed a wolf who was attacking a sheep), I would be unclean, and anyone who touched me would be unclean, as well.  But as I slowed down to read the real meaning of the verses, it struck me how many times the Scripture says "he will be unclean until evening."  Why do you think that was?  Because in the Jewish culture, the new day began at sundown.

As the old saying goes, "Tomorrow is a new day."  There is more truth to that adage than one would think.  God holds our sins against us until the day is done.  The next morning, "His mercies are new." (Lamentations 3:23).  Grace.  It makes me cry every time.  The beautiful thing is, we can show that same grace to each other, beginning with the people in our own family.

Don't get me wrong. We can't expect broken hearts to mend quickly.  My pastor said he's heard from more than one married couple in counseling that the man confessed infidelity, then demanded his wife forgive him right away, because Scripture says "don't let the sun go down on your anger." (Ephesians 4:26).  There are more regulations in the Law about being set "outside the camp" indefinitely (Leviticus 13) for being unclean.  Even a woman who gave birth was to be unclean for 33 days (Leviticus 12).  Some grace takes longer.  It is that same grace, the kind that takes longer, that is the most meaningful.  It will be remembered longer.

Every day there are people who fall in the mud, and their clothes are stained with dirt and grime.  There are those who by necessity have to work on a car motor so it will run, and their clothes are stained with grease and oil.  There are folks who get sick, and those who help the sick get well, who get their clothes stained with blood and vomit, urine and excrement.  You know what?  Those people wash their clothes, and wash themselves, and are right back at work the next day.  That's life.  I thought of life's dirty chores when I read Leviticus 11:39, 40:  "If an animal that you are allowed to eat dies, anyone who touches the carcass will be unclean until evening....Anyone who picks up the carcass must wash his clothes, and he will be unclean until evening."  After the day is done, you are clean again.  You get another chance to do the right thing.  You get grace.

Wonderful, merciful SaviorPrecious Redeemer and FriendWho would have thought that a LambCould rescue the souls of menOh you rescue the souls of men

Counselor, Comforter, KeeperSpirit we long to embraceYou offer hope when our hearts haveHopelessly lost the wayOhh, we hopelessly lost the way

You are the One that we praiseYou are the One we adoreYou give the healing and graceOur hearts always hunger forOhh, our hearts always hunger for

Almighty, infinite FatherFaithfully loving Your ownHere in our weakness You find usFalling before Your throneOhh, we're falling before Your throne

You are the One that we praiseYou are the One we adoreYou give the healing and graceOur hearts always hunger for

Ohh, our hearts always hunger for